How To Move Your Plenty of Fish Dates Off-line

While the allure of browsing through thousands of potential dates and creating online connections is addicting, there is a time when you want to stop using the PlentyofFish dating site and actually meet people in real life for real dates. Lets face it, you didn't get into online dating for a pen pal, you did it to find someone you can actually hang out with in person!

Unfortunately, a lot of people fall into the trap of an endless chain of back and forth messaging. This is not good, because the more messages that get exchanged before meeting in person, then the less likely it is you will meet that person. It seems counter intuitive, but for the most part, it's true. The reason this happens is because as people continue exchanging messages, their expectations of that person increases and their anxiety of meeting them in real life also increases. Thus making people nervous and hesitant about meeting off-line.

What you want to do is exchange enough messages that you realize both people are interested in each other and that's it. There's no point in telling someone your life story through email when you can do it in real life on a date. It also makes the date easier because you will have more to talk about. So, to make the process more efficient and increase your number of "real life" dates, then it's probably best to keep your emails to less than five interactions before proposing to meet up. Any more than 10 interactions and you've got yourself a pen pal, either push for the date or cut your losses.

The ideal number of online interactions to have is about three to four email exchanges.

  • The first email is simply a 'bait and hook' to get the other person interested
  • The second email is going to be playful and display some of your value
  • The third email will need to qualify the other person, basically a challenge that gives them the perception that they are chasing you
  • The fourth email you simply state that the two of you would have much more fun in real life, so lets go grab a coffee, beer, whatever your first date idea is.

You always want to be moving the interactions forward, towards the goal of a date. If you're not moving towards this goal then you are wasting your time. Again, Plenty of Fish dating is not meant to waste your time, used properly it can be quite effective for getting many real life!!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous10:46 PM

    Odd, if you read the forums, you would find that most women of quality prefer to email for about a month and establish some compatibility before investing the time required to primp to make a good first impression.


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