PoF Email #1 - Low Self-Esteem Guy
So this guy sends an email with a simple, hi, and nothing of substance in the message body. The worst part is that he states, "I know I have no chance..." If you knew you didn't have a chance why did you send the message? It is a dating site after all. Unless, perhaps you are looking for someone to give you pity or feel sorry for you. If that's the angle, then I'm sorry to bust your bubble, because it is simply sad and pathetic.
PoF Email #2 - Put Her on a Pedestal Guy
Listen, it's ok to give sincere compliments to women, however it's not ok to put her up on a pedestal and shower her with praise in a lame attempt to somehow attract her. In fact, you are doing the opposite, you are pushing her away. You simply are displaying how inferior you are by raising her value and lowering yours at the same time.
Ever heard the phrase: women like a challenge? Well, it's true and when you put her high up on a pedestal in your very first interaction with her, then you are not being challenging at all.
PoF Email #3 - The One Word Wonder
This type of message just baffles me. One word and a smiley face. Come on dude... you have to put in at least a little effort if you're going to expect a girl to keep from hitting the delete button the instant this hits her inbox.
POF Email #4 - Dr. Showoff
This guy might as well have said, "Hi, I'm a doctor... want to sleep with me now?"
Though it is important to display that you are a high value alpha male, such a blatant attempt to brag or showoff isn't attractive. He could have easily showed he was a doctor by being indirect in his approach, mentioning it as a passing thought without putting all the emphasis of his message on being a doctor.
POF Email #5 - Lame Pathetic Guy
This guy is similar to Pussy on a Pedestal Guy except far more lame and pathetic.
POF Email #6 - Retarded Guy
Listen, if you can't even put together a proper sentence, how do you expect anyone to find you attractive. Intelligence is an attractive quality in anyone and displaying it in a simple message to someone you are trying to attract will better your odds. Conversely, sending a message that looks like a dictionary puked on the screen is enough grounds to hit the delete button.
PoF Email #7 - Super Direct Guy
[click to enlarge]First, he doesn't bother using complete words, opting for U instead of You, etc. Second, he starts by putting the girl up on a pedestal right off the bat by calling her, very very very sexy. Third, he decides to throw in a sexual line about being on his knees for her. Fourth, he apologizes for his previous statements and finally gives out his phone number asking her to call him... sigh...
There are so many things wrong with this I'm not sure where to start. First, it should be obvious to anyone that if you want to display at least basic intelligence then you should probably attempt to use proper grammar. Second, when you put a girl up on a pedestal you are automatically lowering your own value. In essence, you are telling her that you are not even worth her time.
Third, telling her that you want to do sexual things to her in the first email is wayyy to direct for most women. Granted, I do believe in the direct approach in real life, but online and in this manner is going overboard. Fourth, if you are going to be that direct, why apologize for it? If the direct approach even had a chance of succeeding, you would have nullified it by apologizing. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have said it in the first place.
Finally, he gives his number out to a complete stranger on the first email. Dude?! How do you know this chick isn't really a guy posing as a chick? Well, it is. I now have your number and could easily prank call you and tell you how much you suck at online dating:)
Conclusion
- Almost all the guys had terrible spelling and grammar, displaying low intelligence.
- Most of the messages focused on complimenting the woman on her looks rather than writing about the many interests and content within that woman's profile.
- Most of the guys put her up on a pedestal when there was really no basis for doing so.
- Most of the guys had one sentence messages that were not unique in anyway and were not worth the woman's time.
7 comments:
That's funny stuff, right there.
However given that most mesaes women receive are garbage you would think that initiate email more often.
Try sticking up a funny hot guy profile ... you'll find that the messages are just as bad. It's funny how many people will put themselves down while at the same time, complimenting someone else.
Yeah, I know the point here is bad email from guys, but my point is bad email from women is equally as common ... very few people (male/female) are gifted enough in text/email ... picking up context, directing conversation, leading conversation etc. Very few people have much practice in that area.
People shouldn't be too concerned about rejection being much higher for online dating, it's inherent. It's also the factor that drives down the quality of email/text over time as well.
Anonymous,
I didn't think to try this with a fake "hot guy" profile. I suppose my thinking was that guys in general receive far less emails than women and wouldn't get a good enough sampling to see similar bad emails from women. Although, now that you bring it up, I may have to experiment and with that concept and see what happens.
Just out of curiosity, are there any of you guys out there who get crappy email messages from women? If anyone's willing to share, take a screen shot and email it to me: themodernsavage at gmail.com.
If you are going to judge someone on grammar, spelling, and syntax, then may I suggest you carefully check your own writing first? Other than that, very funny post.
I'm a fake funny "hot guy".
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Seriously, email from women (initiated or otherwise) can be pretty bad at time. However, I would certainly expect the clever/educated guys on the site are a lower percentage in respect to woman. That's just volume really. People should recognize women are generally better in language skills, so it can be a easy turn off for them.
However, if you go to myspace or any other "free" service where "dating" is a possibility you will notice some pretty crappy stuff.
People need to let up on expecting wordsmiths in emails and just push it thru to get to the met stage.
Still, the emails you cited, which I suspect represents a significant percentage, won't get guys anywhere.
The biggest issue, is that free dating sites and maybe dating sites in general are NOT comprised of people who are all that gifted in meeting/conversation anyway. Putting email in between as well, ain't gonna help much.
Guys should stick to very light/fun conversation starter. It is really a "I like you/ you like me/ let's meet and see scenario". Don't make it anymore complicated than that. On line dating is simply nothing more than "high resolution" blind dating.
Your profile and approach should clearly state, without stating it, let's meet, share a few laughs, some fun stuff(not sex), and see what happens, but hopefully it's going to be great.
More simply put, the worse case scenario has to be acceptable to which ever woman you're speaking with ... otherwise it won't happen. Everyone thinks that way, it's not just woman.
HumorSmith,
Haha, I had feeling someone would post a comment like this. Yes, my command of the English language is certainly not perfect, nor is most people's.
In online dating, I think you can forgive people for simple grammatical/spelling mistakes, but there's a difference between that and some of the messages of above.
From what I see, there are no glaring mistakes in the above article, however, if you are willing to point them out, I'll certainly fix them.
What I notice in all of those is that only one of those guys says anything about himself, who he is. Are they all that boring or are they all just walking penis's after all? None of those guys has an email that would be interesting to reply to. I did go out with three guys from PoF when I was active there. They each had something to say about themself. It gives you the feeling there is a person on the other end of the email, someone you could get to know. All the others you gave as examples seem to be looking for something very casual. Too casual. You can buy those kind of casual in an adult novelty store.
Laura,
Thanks for bringing up that point. You're right, it's not enough just to make contact. Guys need to demonstrate that they are worthy of dating. In the seduction community this is called demonstrating higher value (or DHV for those of you who watch VH1's The Pickup Artist:) Though, it's also important to note that you can't brag about it either, such as the Doctor guy above.
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