Anatomy of a Good PlentyofFish Email

As most women on PlentyofFish will tell you, a large majority of the emails they receive are terrible. We even took a look at seven of these awful emails in the last post. We also found that, in our fake female reconnaissance profile that in less than two days, we received 60 email messages from men on the site. The sad news is that almost every single one of those emails were terrible. Out of sixty only one email caught my attention and would be considered good. Take a look:

Click to Enlarge

Not too bad in my opinion. It's not great, but I'd say it's in the top 1% of the rest of the garbage that flows into a female's inbox. Why do I think it's good?
  • The subject line, it's true, is simple, unique and makes me want to open the message. By saying, "it's true," it makes me curious as to what he's talking about. Much better than the ever popularly lame: hi, hey, hello, etc.
  • There are no spelling or grammar mistakes. Nor are there any shorthand phrases, like replacing you for U, or other nonsense.
  • He isn't putting her up on a pedestal by giving her unconditional praise. Instead he opts for his you're adorable opener. This works as a nice little compliment without going overboard
  • The next line: but my mum always warned me about rockstar girls; works great as a disqualifying tactic, as well as being a cute way to flirt with her.
  • He shows that he actually read the profile by mentioning the Karaoke thing. In the profile, I wrote that this girl loves singing and going to Karaoke. This guy picked up on that and fed it right back. Also, he is setting the groundwork for a future date possibility.
  • Finally, he mentions indirectly that he's away traveling. We don't know why, but it could mean that he likes to travel, which most women find attractive or that he is traveling on business, which means he probably has a good career.

Though many of these aspects may seem simple and subtle to many men out there, it was executed extremely well in my opinion. It's intriguing, it's simple, it's flirty, it displays high value and it leaves us wanting to reply. This is exactly what a first email should entail.

Of course, this is coming from a man's opinion, I'd like to know what you ladies think and how would you respond if you received this email message on the PlentyofFish dating site or other online dating site?


  1. I used to be part of PoF. It is pretty hopeless. Unless you are a skinny porn star type I don't think men on any online dating site will be interested in you. I got fed up with having my hopes raised only to have my ego bashed or just be ignored when I didn't want to screw his brains out for him.

  2. Laura,
    I'm not sure I agree that it's hopeless. I agree that many men have their expectations way too high. In my observations, pretty much most girls in online dating will get some attention from the men, I think it's just a matter of being patient waiting for the right ones, while weeding out all the losers.

  3. Men who has no firm opinion of themselves or their search criteria are definitely big NO NO's!

  4. @Laura .. online dating is far from hopeless, I know many people that met their spouse online. You have to accept there are idiots and players online, some men will only look for model types but how many models would want to touch them with a barge pole .. just ignore them and move on. Choosing the right site is also a big part of finding decent guys.

    Great post Matt and I do hope men will take note.

  5. Anonymous8:32 AM

    The problem I have is that they'll read it, but never reply. I never have gotten a good response rate on POF, say maybe only one out of ten or fifteen emails...
    Maybe there are just more men than women on POF.

  6. Anonymous2:17 PM

    What does the yellow dot thats posted under a ladies photo mean

  7. Anonymous2:40 AM


    I disagree with the response ratio. I've been pleasantly surprised, and it's not like I'm a Brad Pitt or am rich or anything. I've gotten like 1 out of 4 replies, and quite a few girls email me out of the blue, even a few really cute ones. Hasn't gone any farther than email contact yet, but I'm hopeful now...

  8. Anonymous10:30 PM

    Although the email seemed harmless enough, the reference to possibly getting together so soon would have had me back peddling. Also, I would have been disappointed by the lack of interest in who I am, a question or two of substance would have worked better for me.


Comment Policy:

Comments posted on this blog are moderated and will be approved only if they are on-topic and non-hostile.

Avoid including website URLs in your comment body and instead place them in the URL box in the comment form. Though Anonymous posting is enabled, please use a first name (even if it's fake) so that it is easier to identify commentators when responding to them.

Thank You.