Anatomy of a Good PlentyofFish Email

As most women on PlentyofFish will tell you, a large majority of the emails they receive are terrible. We even took a look at seven of these awful emails in the last post. We also found that, in our fake female reconnaissance profile that in less than two days, we received 60 email messages from men on the site. The sad news is that almost every single one of those emails were terrible. Out of sixty only one email caught my attention and would be considered good. Take a look:

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Not too bad in my opinion. It's not great, but I'd say it's in the top 1% of the rest of the garbage that flows into a female's inbox. Why do I think it's good?
  • The subject line, it's true, is simple, unique and makes me want to open the message. By saying, "it's true," it makes me curious as to what he's talking about. Much better than the ever popularly lame: hi, hey, hello, etc.
  • There are no spelling or grammar mistakes. Nor are there any shorthand phrases, like replacing you for U, or other nonsense.
  • He isn't putting her up on a pedestal by giving her unconditional praise. Instead he opts for his you're adorable opener. This works as a nice little compliment without going overboard
  • The next line: but my mum always warned me about rockstar girls; works great as a disqualifying tactic, as well as being a cute way to flirt with her.
  • He shows that he actually read the profile by mentioning the Karaoke thing. In the profile, I wrote that this girl loves singing and going to Karaoke. This guy picked up on that and fed it right back. Also, he is setting the groundwork for a future date possibility.
  • Finally, he mentions indirectly that he's away traveling. We don't know why, but it could mean that he likes to travel, which most women find attractive or that he is traveling on business, which means he probably has a good career.

Though many of these aspects may seem simple and subtle to many men out there, it was executed extremely well in my opinion. It's intriguing, it's simple, it's flirty, it displays high value and it leaves us wanting to reply. This is exactly what a first email should entail.

Of course, this is coming from a man's opinion, I'd like to know what you ladies think and how would you respond if you received this email message on the PlentyofFish dating site or other online dating site?


7 Awful Plenty of Fish Email Messages from Men

In an earlier post we discussed how awful many of the subject lines were in messages sent by men to our reconnaissance female profile. In this article, we will look at and analyze some of the Plenty of Fish dating messages from the men on the site. Lets take a look:

PoF Email #1 - Low Self-Esteem Guy

So this guy sends an email with a simple, hi, and nothing of substance in the message body. The worst part is that he states, "I know I have no chance..." If you knew you didn't have a chance why did you send the message? It is a dating site after all. Unless, perhaps you are looking for someone to give you pity or feel sorry for you. If that's the angle, then I'm sorry to bust your bubble, because it is simply sad and pathetic.

PoF Email #2 - Put Her on a Pedestal Guy

Listen, it's ok to give sincere compliments to women, however it's not ok to put her up on a pedestal and shower her with praise in a lame attempt to somehow attract her. In fact, you are doing the opposite, you are pushing her away. You simply are displaying how inferior you are by raising her value and lowering yours at the same time.

Ever heard the phrase: women like a challenge? Well, it's true and when you put her high up on a pedestal in your very first interaction with her, then you are not being challenging at all.

PoF Email #3 - The One Word Wonder

This type of message just baffles me. One word and a smiley face. Come on dude... you have to put in at least a little effort if you're going to expect a girl to keep from hitting the delete button the instant this hits her inbox.

POF Email #4 - Dr. Showoff

This guy might as well have said, "Hi, I'm a doctor... want to sleep with me now?"

Though it is important to display that you are a high value alpha male, such a blatant attempt to brag or showoff isn't attractive. He could have easily showed he was a doctor by being indirect in his approach, mentioning it as a passing thought without putting all the emphasis of his message on being a doctor.

POF Email #5 - Lame Pathetic Guy

This guy is similar to Pussy on a Pedestal Guy except far more lame and pathetic.

POF Email #6 - Retarded Guy

Listen, if you can't even put together a proper sentence, how do you expect anyone to find you attractive. Intelligence is an attractive quality in anyone and displaying it in a simple message to someone you are trying to attract will better your odds. Conversely, sending a message that looks like a dictionary puked on the screen is enough grounds to hit the delete button.

PoF Email #7 - Super Direct Guy

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I'll give this guy a fraction of credit as he has the balls to be honest and direct, however, this is certainly not the way to swoop a woman off her feet.

First, he doesn't bother using complete words, opting for U instead of You, etc. Second, he starts by putting the girl up on a pedestal right off the bat by calling her, very very very sexy. Third, he decides to throw in a sexual line about being on his knees for her. Fourth, he apologizes for his previous statements and finally gives out his phone number asking her to call him... sigh...

There are so many things wrong with this I'm not sure where to start. First, it should be obvious to anyone that if you want to display at least basic intelligence then you should probably attempt to use proper grammar. Second, when you put a girl up on a pedestal you are automatically lowering your own value. In essence, you are telling her that you are not even worth her time.

Third, telling her that you want to do sexual things to her in the first email is wayyy to direct for most women. Granted, I do believe in the direct approach in real life, but online and in this manner is going overboard. Fourth, if you are going to be that direct, why apologize for it? If the direct approach even had a chance of succeeding, you would have nullified it by apologizing. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn't have said it in the first place.

Finally, he gives his number out to a complete stranger on the first email. Dude?! How do you know this chick isn't really a guy posing as a chick? Well, it is. I now have your number and could easily prank call you and tell you how much you suck at online dating:)

  • Almost all the guys had terrible spelling and grammar, displaying low intelligence.
  • Most of the messages focused on complimenting the woman on her looks rather than writing about the many interests and content within that woman's profile.
  • Most of the guys put her up on a pedestal when there was really no basis for doing so.
  • Most of the guys had one sentence messages that were not unique in anyway and were not worth the woman's time.
Out of the 60 email messages that I received during this experiment, all of them encompassed the same or similar traits as the seven guys above, except for one. Yes, only one guy out of 60 managed to write a good solid attractive message. In the next post we will examine this one message and the qualities that makes it a good Plenty of Fish dating email message.