Wednesday

Examples of Good Male Dating Profiles

Over the past week, I have been scouring through tons of Male Plenty of Fish online profiles. Not that I'm checking out guys or anything (I love the ladies) but I was trying to look for some examples of great male dating profiles. To do this, I browsed through as many guys as I could and anyone that had 10 or more favorites, I jotted down in my spreadsheet for later analysis.

First off, I would just like to say that finding male profiles with more than 10 favorites was quite a difficult task. There are not many at all. Just a rough calculation, I'd say that for about every thirty male online profiles I visited, only one would have 10 or more favorites.

Now on to my findings, which will basically be a quantitative and qualitative analysis of about twenty different mens' Plenty of Fish online dating profiles that indicated a high female attraction rate.

Age Level


The first thing that stuck out to me was that the age range of all the men were almost all between the ages of 30-35 with a couple in their late twenties and a couple over 35. This makes some sense to me as it would seem that the 28-35 is still young enough for women down to their early twenties to date, yet at the same time much more mature than your typical college frat guy. In this age range they are likely to be down a solid career path and have experience in the dating scene.

Height Level - Tall Guys and Short Guys


One thing that I was expecting was the heights of the 20 men to be tall but this was not true. Though there were certainly a number of guys that were all around 6 feet, there was a decent group of shorter guys from 5'4 to 5'8. So, even though taller guys have an advantage in online dating, it is not unheard of for a shorter guy to attract women on PlentyofFish.

Profile Pictures

I know what your going to say, these guys were all naturally handsome. I thought of that and yes some looked like they were borderline male models, but not all of them. I'd say half of these guys were average looking at best. Some even had their picture ratings averaging around 4 on a 1 to 10 scale! However, the one thing that they all did have, were decent pictures of themselves. None of the typical cellphone in the mirror with your shirt-off picture, nor the grainy, "I'm half in the bag at my favorite bar picture." They weren't professional looking but they were good pics, usually with a simple profile shot looking relaxed with a nice smile.

Body Type


For the body type category, a large majority were "Athletic" with the rest being listed as "Average." One guy listed "Thin" but his pictures actually looked pretty athletic to me.

This brings me to a personal issue that I just realized. I am a competitive long distance runner and though I am quite thin, I am pretty lean. This whole time I've been listing myself as thin, when really I could probably get away with listing athletic if I wanted to, after all my abs are coming along quite nicely:)

So the lesson learned here is get off your asses guys and get to the gym. If not for your Plenty of Fish profiles then at least for yourselves!

Relationship Type or 'Looking For


For the relationship type, "Long Term" and "Dating" were the two most common listed in the "Looking For" section with one guy listing "Friends." This was interest that long term relationships were valued almost equally as the guys just listing the dating option. I suppose this would prove that women are looking for guys that can be in a committed relationship. Also, it's important to note that the other categories like: intimate encounters, activity partner, hang out, talk/email, and other relationship were none existent in this group of guys.

Example Male Dating Profiles

Now on to the written part of the PlentyofFish profiles, the 'About Me' section. These are a little harder to quantify and there wasn't anything specific that stood out, with the exception that all 20 profiles had excellent spelling and grammar. None of them were overly long, usually only two to three maximum of paragraphs, while a couple were shorter with only about one paragraph. Positivity and good outlook on life were typical and most men seemed to have "confident" profiles as in, they knew what they wanted out of life and out of a relationship.

In the interest of privacy, I'm not going to link to all the profiles, but I will give you some excerpts from some of the About Me sections that I thought were good. Also, PLEASE, do not copy these, they're just examples, you need to write your own unique online dating profile that is congruent to your personality.

Sample Male Profile #1

ABOUT ME: As a person I like to think of myself as confident but not a ****. I'm a very humble man. I understand that there's a time to give and be loving and understanding. I also believe in standing up for what I believe and not being walked on. I'm always there for my friends and loved ones. I don't run from adversity. I care what people think of me because I believe in being the best man I can be. I want people who come across me to think "hey what a cool guy". It's not about attention for me. It's about the importance of ones own honor and respect for those around him.

GOALS: Looking to find a way into the music business. At what capacity, I'm not sure yet but I'm exploring many ideas. I really want to find a woman to love and share in the beauty that is life. I also want to continue to help those around me I care for to achieve their goals.

WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT: I was raised by a single mother. Watched her get hurt many times. Made me believe how important it is to treat a woman right. My mother also taught me how to have inner strength and not to get walked on. I'm covered in tattoo's and it's made me understand just how fickle society is. I'm a TRUE heavy metal fan. I've had to overcome some shitty things in life and in doing so it's made me a much stronger man.

Music: As I've already stated I'm a huge Heavy Metal fan. I'm a guitar tech (in training) for the signed band --------. I'm very passionate about the tattooed and heavy metal communities. We get a bad rap sometimes and it's a shame cause there's some really beautiful people within these realms of society.


What I like about this guy was that he really showed a lot of passion for life and compassion for women. And mentioning his mom in there was pure gold, who wouldn't want to be around a guy like this?

Sample Profile #2

A little about myself…

I am a very hard working dedicated person and I live life to it's fullest. I laugh often and am very optimistic. I think my smile is contagious :) I have young children, ages 8 and 11, that I simply love. My 11 year old is soooo smart that we are able to have intellectual conversations (or does that mean I have the intellect of an 11 year old?). My 8 year old is fun too but is the complete opposite of the other.

I am a lifetime student and I have 2 undergrad degrees, one graduate, and I'm working on my MBA now. I tell myself I will stop after this one. I guess I just like the challenge :)

In my free time I spend lots of time with my children (they don't live with me, but they live very close by), play the piano and drums, exercise daily, mountain bike, ride jet skis and 4 wheelers in the summer and snowboard in the winter. I always try to keep busy doing something. Oh and I LOVE to cook.

I enjoy helping others more than anything else. I would put everything I'm doing on hold if someone I know needed help with anything at all.

I love to travel (the Caribbean being my favorite) and while my immediate family all live here, I have family on the east coast, west coast, and in Southern France. I visit them all as often as possible.

I am incredibly honest and trustworthy. I would expect my match to have the same qualities. That is extremely important.

I have a great, maybe sarcastic, sense of humor (some would say disturbing). My humor is along the lines of Simpsons, Reno 911, Chevy Chase, Naked Gun, Seinfeld, stuff like that.


By the way, this guy is 5'6 and had about 40 favorites on his PlentyofFish profile. What I like about this one is that you can tell he's a super great Dad, which is important for a lot of women and he shows how active and fun his life is.

Sample Male Profile #3

Who am I? . . . I'm Spider-Man. Wait, no, that was a movie! . . . . . I would describe myself as stable in my career and goal-oriented. I enjoy making people laugh. I am intelligent and can carry on meaningful conversations. I care about other people's feelings. . . . . . When I'm with someone special I like being spontaneous, adventurous, romantic, surprising them with little gestures, sensual, playful, and basically having that type of fun you see two people who just met in the movies having! Someone to laugh with, hang out with, be spontaneous with, and have fun with! I'm looking for someone who has similar qualities and desires someone who they can connect with . . . . . . I feel there has to be mutual physical attraction for there to be good chemistry between two people. So being fit and having good looks are important, as well as sensuality and affection. . . . . . Having some similar interests helps--some things I enjoy are fine dining, walking at the beach at night, going dancing, watching movies including foreign films, travelling, going snowboarding, going on day trips to local attractions, having romantic nights at home, cuddling, and basically having a blast together. . . . . .


This one was my favorite out of all of them. He really hit everything on the head, covering a great deal about him and what he was looking for in a short amount of space.

Final Statements

So there you have it folks. It's a lot of information to cover, especially since the sample size of this was 20 male profiles, but please keep in mind that these guys were the cream of the crop... or shall we say the sharks of the sea. Also, I know I left out a bunch of categories like religion, race, have a car, etc, etc, but that would take up way to much time right now and I think I already covered the basics.

In the future, I'll likely expand on this study to include both a larger sample size and include more category data. Collecting this type of information on Plenty of Fish takes a long time, so if anyone out there is interested in collaborating on a larger scale study similar to this, please let me know.

As far as helping figure out what the perfect online dating profile is, I suppose we can say that it helps if you are a 30-35 year old male, good profile pictures, athletic, looking for a long term relationship and have a well written profile, then you are golden. For everyone else, don't despair, take what you know and adapt as best you can to compete, after all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

40 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:56 PM

    Hey, I'm stumbled on this thru a search. it's interesting in that I just spent about 1.5 onths on the site. I'm sure you would agree that hieght/age/body types are typical fudge factors. Statisitically speaking, the precentage of males 6 foot or taller is less than 20%, so you know POF height stats are simple way too far out of norm to be possible. Though these particular guys, you looked at, may be legit.
    ----
    You could try putting and slowly increasing te guys height over time to see the effect. It plots an interesting curve. If you do it on a paid dating site rather then a free dating site, you will get a much flatter curve.
    ----
    What I found interesting about your post was the three sample profiles yuu provided. ALL of these samples use the same type language and phrases that WOMEN use to describe themselves. No real guy actually speaks that way, cause the other guys will beat him up. :-). When I was using the site, I noticed the same thing with popular guys profiles as well. I found that quite interesting, in that, in real life guys speaking that way get nowhere, but it works on dating sites. Clearly pr4senting as MORE feminine has it's advantages.
    ----
    My conclusion from that, is, women on dating sites, epecially free ones, seem to actually prefer less masculine men and may even be a little timid around men.
    ----
    I wonder if similar could be said for a significant percentage of men who use dating sites.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:39 AM

    "ALL of these samples use the same type language and phrases that WOMEN use to describe themselves"

    Good Catch! I wondered why, as a guy, my first instinct was to think WTF?? haha

    "My conclusion from that, is, women on dating sites seem to actually prefer less masculine men and may even be a little timid around men"

    WRONG conclusion.

    Women tend to be more CAUTIOUS on dating sites.
    They are already soooo obsessed with "Creepers" in real life that, when they go online, even before they look at their first profile, they're already SCARED half out of their minds! lol

    Bottom Line: Guys should learn to vibe much less masculine online than in real life, as it can come across as too threatening.

    However, I believe the best way to do that is is with warm & engaging photos which speak to women in powerful ways that wimpy words simply cannot match.

    Whether you're trying to impress women with how much money you have, hard working you are or even how much you want to tell the world HI MOM, the BEST way is let THEM interpret it - NOT to SPELL it out. When you make it that obvious, it almost always comes off to the far more intuitive and sophisticated female species as 'try-hard.'

    And I should know, after all I'm...

    Big Daddy
    One of the MOST successful POF users ever!

    Stats:

    *NOT in the optimal age range (but am listed as 6'/athletic/here for dating)

    * Have VERY terse copy. Just a line or two about myself and my likes. And NOTHING...not one word, about who I'm looking for. No stories about single moms, helping orphans or my plans to save the rainforest! haha

    *Already Favorited in DOUBLE digits w/in roughly the 1st month I've been on. (Started in June 2009.)

    * Rec'd Over 30 unsolicited emails from 30 DIFFERENT women in the last roughly 2 WEEKS!

    *I never even bother contacting ANYONE 1st anymore. I feel it just puts you into the 'take a number' line - esp w/hotties.

    *Viewed countless times starting at about 40-50/day when I 1st got on

    Note: I use a NUMBER of unique tricks which I've developed that I've NEVER seen or read about anyone else using. I tested them and each one seem to boost the level of interest from women.

    It's also worth noting that, while I'm a GREAT ladies man in real life, I've had HORRIBLE success on line until about a month ago when I decided ONE LAST VENUE - POF!

    I always chalked up the seeming inexplicable disparity to the fact that my 'game' in real life is so VIBE-based and obviously you need to be 'belly-to-belly' in a manner of speaking for them to sense your vibe.

    Nonetheless, I applied MANY of the fundamental PRINCIPLES I developed in 'real life' that have made me such a great ladies man to my profile.

    And they worked!

    The things I developed that are unique to my online game:

    I came up with a paradigm for how my profile should be modelled that I don't think very many others have thought of. That was a real breakthrough. It helped me shape everything I put on the profile through that prism and I believe has helped immensely.

    I've don't post on the forums and never plan to. You might get SOME short term attention from hanging out there, just like you would if you offer youself up for a Fri Night Date (a new feature offered in select communities) but I think it's ultimately the wrong kind of attention. I wouldn't waste my time.

    I have discovered the best days/times to be online. Well, I'm beginning to discover it. I'm sure some of it is random, but there does seem to be better times to get girls.

    So, that's only about ONE month in. Still looking to boost the QUALITY of the women who are writing UNSOLICITED emails to Big Daddy, but I'm guessing that will happen over time...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:25 AM

    ***UPDATE***

    LESS THAN A WEEK LATER...

    -Have now been 'Favorite'd' by 20 women.

    -Have received UNSOLICITED 1st Contact emails from a grand total of 40 DIFFERENT women. Amazing!

    - Qlty still lagging :)

    Big Daddy
    PS Working on even more exciting and REVOLUTIONARY ways to drive traffic to my POF Profile. Have already taken action on one exciting strategy. And STOLE one from a guy on POF haha But it seems to be effective.

    Also...developing a UNIQUE MODEL for FRAMING the first Real Life belly-to-belly encounter for the women I want to get with. The objective is to carve a neural pathway in both of us PRE-meeting so we both already pretty much know what to expect once we get there!
    Whoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous5:04 AM

    Big Daddy has become a POF STAR!!!

    Proof? I have my first WHAT A JERK! email haha
    This from a girl who wrote and I never read her letter much less responded. I also never read the contents of her WHAT A JERK email too, but I'm sure it was sweet and dainty! lol

    I alos have my first POF STALKER a claim to fame I'm sure FEW guys can make after being on only a month or so.

    She is actually quite nice looking but a little persistent.

    She has now officially sent me SIX STRAIGHT unanswered emails after a previous back and forth convo that stretched thru about another 6 message.

    In one of her letters she said something I didn't like. So, I told her to slow down and yet she has kept writing and writing....

    Whoooooooooo!!!

    Big Daddy
    He's that good...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous6:06 PM

    Aug 1 2009

    Join Big Daddy in Celebrating his FIFTIETH Unsolicited First Contact Email from 50 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT women!

    All in less than 2 months on POF.com.

    Whooooooooooooo!!!

    I know that POF claims that less than .01% (no doubt WOMEN ONLY) get 50 emails a day.

    But I don't think many guys EVER get FIFTY DIFF WOMEN solicting him. Esp since I'm not in the OPTIMAL age group making it even more of what can only be called almost UNPRECEDENTED success!

    I've started reading some of these emails and a few of these girls are BOLD.

    You know how women are, they COYLY COUCH their words, but one talked about holding her knickers up and another about getting NAKED.

    Big Daddy
    Yeah....He apparently turns the ladies on

    PS My stalker has not written me for awhile. I even read her emails. Classic stalker behavior - Love...then Hate...then Scantily Clad Photo...then insult...then Love...then Why are You IGNORING me???

    hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous12:23 PM

    Wow, do real people really think like this? I am seriously naive it would appear....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous11:35 AM

    I guess I'm wondering, where is the research done on women's profiles? This article reminds me of the Good Ole' Boys' club. Similar in nature to how all medical statistics, in the past, were at the exclusion of women.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5:24 PM

    From Above ...

    "My conclusion from that, is, women on dating sites seem to actually prefer less masculine men and may even be a little timid around men"

    WRONG conclusion. [Big Daddy]

    Actually Big Daddy, that guys conclusion was quite correct, in fact it is well known. Yes, of course guys should have an inviting profile, a you stated; no point in putting up a macho profile.

    But it is most definitely true that the pretty boy type well do better on dating sites, because of the type of women that are more likely to use this sites. People that use dating sites are NOT a representative sample of the population, it is most definitely a skewed population.

    It is also known that more women on dating sites view men as accessories rather than simply a man. This ties in with the pretty boy thing as well.

    The MORE masculine a man looks the LESS success they will have on a dating site. This is quite contrary to real life where masculinity is a major bonus. The reason is as you would expect, a broader range of women, that are less timid around men.

    I don't know if POF still has the favorites thing viewable or not, but if it is, check it and you will most certainly see the pretty boy types will a much higher favorties count. It's not just about good looks but rather more feminine looks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Unfortunately the "Favorites" feature seems to have been removed permanently so it looks like it will be much harder to do future experiments in which the number of times a person has been favorited is involved.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "I guess I'm wondering, where is the research done on women's profiles? This article reminds me of the Good Ole' Boys' club." -Anonoymous

    Sorry I didn't do any similar research for women... yet. The main reason is because I focus on improvement of male profiles as those seem to need the most help. Online dating is tragically skewed in favor of women, much more so than real life, and because I'm a man myself who participates in online dating it's in my personal interest to my research in this way.

    However this isn't stopping anyone else from doing something similar except for females. If someone does please send me the link and I will gladly help share the results.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6:30 PM

    Interesting stats. Obvious some of the self assessed stats will be fudged.

    The profiles you selected are clearly just playing into a womans fantasy date game. These are not profiles that would attract the higher quality women, but rather those women playing out the fantasy. They're simply picking the weaker women from the group.

    Unfortunately instead of identifiying what works to attract women on POF, what you did what demonstrate the abundance of lower quality women on POF. Women who will believe what they read ... ie the BS. Well, not necessarily lower quality, lets say more hopeful, more wishful thinking, more prone to suggestion.

    It's the same tactic used for late night infomercials to sell weight loss gimmicks.

    One of my degrees is psychology ... trust me.

    Men using this tactics on POF, those profiles, are simply amateur players. They are selectibely picking out the weak ones in the herd.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous9:25 PM

    The reality of many "Women" profiles type up in plentyoffish >--> "Plenty of Guppies", is pure bullcrap. Mostly all divorced Women that want a man to bow down and kiss their asses. They say, you have to be this, you have to be that, you can't do this, you can't say that. You must be this and that or forget you atttitudes. No wonder there are so many divorced "Women" in P.O.F

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thought I would let you know that I received nearly 200 unsolicited e-mails from women in the three months I have been registered. Unfortunately 99% are not my type (the other 1% are even more fussy than me!). For some reason over 20 women have also marked me as a 'favourite', none of which I have even spoken to. The key to my success fits every stereotype:

    Over 6 feet
    Dark hair
    Athletic
    Financial secure
    Degree educated

    In other words, don't believe women when they say looks and money don't matter. It always gets you in the door... The rest is up to you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've been coaching guys in Online Dating for a while now and clearly, the dating profiles that get the MOST responses are ones that really convey a man's confidence and his sense of humor.

    A COMPELLING subject line is a MUST... Best to make it ambiguous and mysterious.

    Ex:

    "Hey, I can't believe you did that."

    Then start off your profile talking about something you saw in her profile. Tease her a bit and be a challenge. This works EVERY time for me!

    I have a TON of sample profiles on my website that you can check out.

    Just click on my name.

    Christophe
    Internet Dating Tips For Men

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous12:44 PM

    I found your site while browsing for a pof men bashing site. (yes there used to be one). Anyway I'm a 30ish male and have been using Pof on and off for far too long. If it's one thing I've come to learn lately is that it does not matter what is written on your profile. Instead it is..
    90% on how you look!
    5% is if you have kids or not
    5% is how much money you make.

    That is all that women care about on PoF. Sure you could be a great guy with good morals and values but then you just become an option for women PoF. Ask your self how many times have you started emailing back and forth with a gal only to have her vanish after a few emails? That is because she found someone better.

    I've also learned women on pof are very rude and hypocritical! You've seen the profiles where women mention "feel free to contact me, if nothing works we can be friends."? Or "write me and I'll get back!" Unless you look like a model these women will never write back!

    Many women on Pof have astronomical high standards making claims that there to busy to reply to guys. These women normally just like to have there egos rubbed as most will make excuses of not being able to write back.

    Stay away from PoF, the site is full of fakers and extremely shallow women!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lol, what a funny discussion about who's masculine and who's not. Sounds like a p*ssing contest to me. We aren't getting jealous are we?

    As a dating coach I know from experience that attraction has NOTHING to do with being feminine or being masculine.

    Example: being dominant is attractive for several biological reasons.

    Simply said, when we were still living in tribes? The guys that could claim more resources than the other guys because they were dominant had better chances of survival.

    That meant that women who would mate with them had better chances as well, just like their offspring. That's why women started to sexually select dominant men.

    Dominance is associated with men, but that doesn't make masculinity attractive.

    Some more proof: being selective is typically a female trait, but guess what? MEN who are selective are more attractive than men who aren't.

    Why?

    Because they're a challenge, they're hard to get, they have to be worked for and just like with everything else...

    The harder you have to work for something, the more you'll enjoy having it.

    So, although selectiveness is associated with women, it works on women too.

    Attraction is based on emotions (subconscious psychology), not on gender.

    To More Dating Success,

    Dennis Miedema
    Win With Women

    ReplyDelete
  17. Richardy8:30 PM

    I've found the key to getting hits is to be funny. "If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything" - M Monroe. My profile went from the standard "I'm a nice guy...good morals..yada yada yada" to a profile that really says nothing about me but is humorous. The emails, views, and favoriting has increased substantially. My problem is what to do after they've taken the bait. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous8:42 PM

    About your Male Body Type pie chart....

    You said: For the body type category, a large majority were "Athletic" with the rest being listed as "Average." So the lesson learned here is get off your asses guys and get to the gym. If not for your Plenty of Fish profiles then at least for yourselves!

    R. Diddy concludes that the pie chart indicates that men with the athletic body type are more likely to be single. Otherwise, the vast majority of singles would be "average". So maybe the conclusion you drew "go to the gym" might be counter-productive when seeking a mate?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous10:04 PM

    Well POF is down right now for service and I found this ... Interesting! I think we all have a point which is right in your own opinions but no one is necessarily right or worng, honestly there is a woman for every guy out there whether you are short bald fat and ugly even a combination of these things. I see these guys in public with girls and some times they are fantastic looking ladies. Who would of guessed a guy like that could have a woman like that.

    I know these things are important things for a lady which are a guys attitude and his outlook on life, his desire for happiness and should be career oriented. If you have kids your best sucesses are with a woman with kids. If no kids hit o the ones without kids even if they are hotties just be proud of yourself and at least you can say you went after something you wanted if you messege her. Dont say your dislikes and certainly dont say you hate something as an example country music. She might really like some of it and you could be passing a good chance when really how often will you be sitting togther listening to music other than love songs while in bed or something? Cmon think about it. I dont like doing Yoga but It seems I like lots of the woman who do it ..:) Imagine if I said I dont like Yoga. That would be stupid. Just be open and honest, also post some good clear and recent pictures, try and take some good original shots no matter what you think you look like. Even if you have to keep updating them like every month. Thats what I do and it seems to work well. I am not the best looking guy but I have had lots of views, and communcation and dates but I am very picky too so I am still single. When favs were around I had about 20-40 on average and was only on for less than a year the first time. This is my second time now.

    Also a fellow above comments on most woman on POF having high standards, major egos and are seemingly wating for their night and shining armour and are holding out for him but little do they realize I already seen that guy leaving earlier and he was carrying a beautiful woman in his arms as he left I noticed she was only weraing one shoe ...
    Signed A West Coast Lover ....

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous10:23 PM

    A few things I fogot to mention above, thanks to Matt for doing the research, I really did not want to do it and now I have a way better understanding of this site now.
    A few of my dating tips ...
    - Some girls use more than one dating site.
    - Some girls have pictures from a long time ago, ask them how current there pictures are.
    - Ask a girl how long she has been on this site for. Any more than a year or so then she has an ego and is waiting for her prnce, meaning she is most like very high maintenance or no one can stand her for whatever reasons.
    - If you get to date her you should have talked to her on the phone to set it up. The voice attraction can set it up very nicely.
    - When you are setting a date make it in less than three days from the time you ask. If she says yes, it really helps if you can stay offline until the date. That shows her a lot of respect. Hopefully she picks up on that and is the same.
    - If a girl drinks on her first date, is she really worth long term?
    - If a girl sleeps with you on the first date is she really worth long term?
    - Kissing is ok but no tongue the first night. If it makes it to a second date then its better!
    - After a date and if you felt really good about it stay offline when you get home and hide your profile. Communicate with her how you had a great time and would like to do it again send that to her via email or text but not from the dating site. Show her you like her if you really do. Even if she is online for a day or two more than you, maybe she is cleaning things up, hopefully she will hide her profile to after the second, but actual first real date. If she goes online again after that she not wanting you so give up and move on. West Coast Lover

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous1:56 PM

    I have tried a variety of different approaches. From say nothing to very opined and finally to very masculine and take charge. The masculine and take charge has garnered the most responses. Unfortunately the women who responded are hardly high class in either the weight or looks category. I've tried the money, and travel thing. Notice how many women if not all are talking travel in their profiles. Of course they don't outright say it but they expect you to pay for the trip. The better looking a woman appears on site the harder it is to get her to respond. Most of the "lookers" have been on for a long, long time. I have a policy that seems to help. I don't ever make the first contact. I let them make it first. I've also found it is best to not respond at all if you aren't interested. If you do respond I don't care how nice your "no thank you" letter is, what comes back is venom in spades. In some cases they are so freaked out by your rejection they try and have you banned from the site. A fair number of these women aren't available, they are married or are using someone elses photo to attract responses and they come up with a million reason why they can't or won't give you personal e-mails, phone numbers or meet. Some of the better looking ones that are divorced are in bad straights although they don't look it and are still living in the homes they had when married. They can't afford the house or the life style they once had. They are looking for a guy to give that back to them. Unfortunately they are older and guys with those sort of assets have their pick of women who are younger and more beautiful (The bald fat guy with the great looker on his arm, its money that got her on his arm). To some degree these women are prostitutes. They simply don't charge by the event. Remember the old song "Neve make a pretty women your wife, you'll be sorry for the rest of your life", in some cases that is true. By the way most of the women I speak of are running with 60K to 80K in credit card debt. yea, they have that kind of credit ability based on their prior marriage. I'm an older guy so I want to tell you the women I am talking about are in the fifty to sixty-five year old group. I am sixty-two but don't seem to have a problem attracting women much younger. Why, because I retired at 55 years of age as a VP for a company that ranked in the top ten percent of the Foutune 500, I owned a nice house, car, three motorcycles (a life long passion) and a two engine plane. I make note of all these facts in my profile and it draws them like moths to a flame. I've tried looking like the typical guy once but it's gotten me nowhere. Most divorced women who had a fairly nice life while married are currently living way beyond their means. They not only have a ton of credit card debt but several and various types of second and third mortgages and have refinanced to get as much cash as they could from their homes. Because of the current real estate market most of their mortgages are under water. They are looking for a financial savior. I don't know any guy who has made it in this world that is stupid enough to be that kind of money sourse for these women. We didn't get to where we are because we were stupid about it. I write this to give the guys on this site a better prespective on what they can expect as they get older and start looking for a woman as a partner. I've got past notching bedposts long ago and want something that will last. Guys, it is hard to find and I don't think you can find it on these sites. I've been single for twenty-two years and in an earlier period of my life I lost count of the number of women I've been with, none of which I would want as a life time partner. What I have also found is the better looking as a general rule the worst they are in bed

    Michael

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous11:47 PM

      Wow Michael, you've managed to depress the hell out of me.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous6:54 PM

    While women are ultimately looking for a nice guy who is secure in every way it's not what attracts them to a second date. Every guy is going to profile themselves this way. The way to attract women is to come off as exciting, adventurous and humorous. Many women online have come out of marriages that became tedious. They want some flair, some excitement. Be masculine and intelligent. Then throw a dash of humility over it.

    No way in hell are 70% of the guys on any online dating site 6 feet or over. One of the biggest complaints I've heard from women is guys lying about their height. Women will wear 3-6 inch heels depending on their height so they end up 5'8" top 6"0" in heels. Liars are exposed quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Jen Jen8:52 PM

    Advice to the men from a single online dating woman. I love it when a man keeps it real. Let the woman know exactly what your looking for,whether it be hangout,fling,just be honest. This allows the woman to proceed at her own discretion. Honesty is so very attractive,this can arrouse the woman speices to challenge a mans decision for "I just want friendship/hangout. She wants to get busy trying to reverse your decision. So while your thinking she needs to hear I wanna get married,saying you just want friendship can draw you even closer. After all every relationship should first start out as friends.

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  24. Hi,

    The Scales/graphs you have been tabulated are indeed a woman type magnet! it increases men`s profile and surely attracts single and relationship looking women.

    The problem is Is this the truly his status?
    One can say that he`s athletic but not handsome..Others like, tall but Is this his actual pose?
    Also, Men put on their profiles on looking for a relationship as Dating..but are they divorced or single men looking for true love( specially on the most ages 30-35 years old)?
    The fact that One can decide and adjust his profile with most women are interested and not on the other side...
    Be Honest!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous1:02 PM

    I am new to this on-line thing but have noticed a pattern already I state in my profile a hard working honest man and get absolutly zip! most of these women especialy the lookers arent intrested in a good guy they want fun! excitement! sdventure! travel! party! whoo hooo! All this under the guize of finding a nornal life. got news for you , those fore mentioned things arent normal. I think they have been reading to many romance novels or wathcing desperate housewives! sites like P.O.F. are just a forum for women to pick and choose who will entertain there egoes. plain and simple do not apply

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hi I posted my profile the last week of december, I was very elaborate about my info, adding many humorous antidotes just to put the Ladies at ease and bring out the lighter side of dating, my handle was ACatchWorthMounting, with in the first week I had over 100 hits, and a ton of meet me's, needless to say I found my dream Lady and even tho she lived 1000 miles away we are now arranging to live together half way in the near north of Ontario, I drove 8 hours to meet her and it was a purrrfect match, we have since sent over 2000 email, phone calls and texts since we met jan,15th, she is moving in with me the end of this month, thanks to pof in a few short weeks we feel this coincidental match also had help from the great matchmakers above, the reason I say this is I had a distance restriction as she did too, only need apply within 75 miles, well I now live in the muskokas ontario, all because of this once in a lifetime chance hook-up and let me tell you she is a dream pin up model, drop dead gorgeous heart breaker to the rest of the fishermen out there so open up dont talk of material things, you'll just attract gold diggers, if ther was enuf room here I wood re-write my profile and you take what you need to get your dream gurrrl, dont forget to add humor, she wont push meet me unless you can make her laff, this is an awesome fishing site, with all walks comin and goin, I had my pic and I'm an ole fella, bald,thin and full of tattoos, who wood have thought I wood find the gurrrl I was praying for, gorgeous to boot, who also loves to cook clean and fish not to mention pamper her man, I know we spent 2 hot days in a hot tub motel, we didnt even leave the room all order in and an angelfish I was actually trolling for, thanks to the folks who put this site together, God Bless You all, Kind Regards Joe

    ReplyDelete
  27. You want to meet your dream gurl, take a bit leave abit but keep it honest, this was my profile:

    Well Sunshine, if you have come this far, and your sober enough, look up this song, "Baby its Cold Outside", by Leon Redbone, (we seem to think alike) and Zooey Deschanel... guaranteed to put a smile on your face, tis also a beautiful song to dance to.....
    First Date
    ...did I mention I love to dance, dancing is just a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
    Now we're somewhat acquainted, here is another morsel, I have a few tattoos, if your OK with this, by all means carry on....by this time I am hoping the third degree is over and your somewhat sober???, if there is a mutual attraction, lets have some fun, shoot some pool?, have a drink?,., where ever you feel safe/comfortable, this is your world sunshine,.. a stroll,tobogganing,swings, park, gallery,skidooing??? the beach weather permitting as long as there's hot chocolate nearby, bring your dog if you like, I'm animal friendly .... and if the weather is permitting and there's "other" attractions, Then...I will take you on a wilderness journey, where we catch an incredible shore lunch, get a beautiful tan or see and feel mother nature at her finest
    I hope you enjoyed your read and I managed to put a smile on your lips.

    I used to ask my mother, "How can I find the right woman for me?", and she would answer, "Don't worry about finding the right woman - concentrate on becoming the right man".
    PS I like a good game of cribbage too, winner chooses your fate, I haven't been beat this side of the Rockies???, care to challenge??? PS I make my own game boards, careful, your line may be longer.....
    Someone once asked me what normal is, to me its just a setting on the dryer.
    Thanks for your time,
    "Have a marvelous day Sunshine".
    Ps re-locating back to Muskoka region this April.
    ...Kind Regards Joe.
    As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
    This is just a glimpse of my character among other things. In general, I'm a happy fella and try to find the good in everything I see, anger is just a wasted emotion. I'd rather spend my energy keeping that smile on your lips. Bye for now, PSS
    I think that when God created me, he somewhat overestimated his ability among other things...
    Enjoy Life and have Fun....this I believe is why we're here. I am a man of means by many means, and own my own established viable business, I have been labeled an artist in more ways than one, you be the judge.
    "The best way to predict the future is to create it!"

    OK! Your turn....

    Kind Regards Joe

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous8:44 PM

    I just found this site and I have had excellent results on POF.
    I attribute this to three things(and they unfortunately are right in line with what you've found although there is a slight anomaly).

    First I've been on for 5 years. I've dated well over 60 women and gotten 100's if not a 1000 emails. I was on the old 500 hottest list for years and had over 100 faves at one point.
    (currently 75 wanna "meet me".
    I fish, I take the bait. Not all unsolicited. but enough to make a guy feel pretty good after reading the sad tales of woe.
    Your pictures are number one, followed closely by height and then if your profile is half decent then you have a pretty good shot. Money helps but the way you present it can score some points as well.

    Now if you can write a panty dropper of a profile, you can often overcome some things.

    I was blessed. I have the look, but I'm short.(I guess in a way I am the equivalent of the hot chick who was always a little bit chubby. I'm a good looking guy who is a little short to be "ideal".
    See, I'm only 5'7. But I'm honest about it so there's no surprise. I own it. I've seen plenty of profiles that have the height requirement in my "viewed me" section. I see the "must be 6ft etc. blah blah, cue the wahhhhhhh. I get the idea. (I wish I could teach short guys to own it without being Napoleonic. It's not impossible)
    Strangely though I've gotten emails form women with blatant height requirements listed front center.
    But other times I've been shocked to get emails from women as tall as 6' and they were very attractive women. I'd get their emails and wonder if they even looked at the profile. I mean, how many women put "I love my heels" in their profile?
    They will write and ask if I care about a woman being taller. I've dated 3 women who were 6 ft. tall from POF.
    But like anyone, I've had plenty of rejection. I've written emails that I thought were well conceived etc. and been berated. Or read deleted.

    But the profile. I totally wrote with, the way a woman's mind works. I don't claim to know everything by any means, but I know how to melt a heart. My profile is somewhat feminine. But it also allowed to fairly clearly state things like, if you aren't hot, don't contact me. By crafting messages correctly you can get away with murder on that site.

    But, at the end of the day, I am still single for the same reason many of these woman are. Why settle down? There's plenty of traffic. I really don't trust that any of these women truly mean what they say. Even the most hideous chick will have 2 dudes who would bang her and they know this.

    Work on your appearance. If you aren't great looking work out.
    Get yourself a career and have some goals. Focused and diligent mean as much as rich to many women.

    I know this sounds like utter BS, but it is 100% true. I'm lucky.

    I don't know if the author found my profile. Probably thought it a bit twee, but hell, the nets are full and I have no complaints.

    Rod Evans w 9 y

    ReplyDelete
  29. How the hell did this crap get ranked so high? I just woke up with the keyboard imprinted on my face from reading those profiles. Now I have to go to work with a waffle face because the assumption that a high ranked blog would have quality content disarmed my defenses. Then WHAM! Those profiles put me in a coma. Profiles like those put everyone to sleep. Chicks are cautious, not retarded, and the profiles cater to retards.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The examples are good for starting. Obviously, a user's own input in hte profile creation is needed.

    Catching the eye with your profile's headline is the most imprtant part of the profile so pay attention to this part of the profile creation.

    Agree with some commenters that neat appearance is preferable. Though it is not the only what matters.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Ben Wester4:01 PM

    Good read. While I loved the first two sample profiles, I'm not sure I'm sold on that third one. The Spider Man thing came off a bit cheesy. I'm new to the whole online dating scene and am trying to absorb as much as I can to create a good profile, and thank you for this piece. I know I'm not supposed to put up urls, but I just read this interesting article from some guy who's been online dating for 2+ years (http://www.daveglenn.com/2011/03/dave-glenns-guide-to-online-dating/), and he says you shouldn't write about yourself. Any thoughts on that? Any input helps...

    -B

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous6:12 PM

    Quite frankly copy a profile and amend it to your taste and be brief. Most women who cum online are already desperate and if they really need to know more about you they'll make some effort as you would.

    They're out hunting for men equally and please don't try to be too smart and full of self importance. Just tell them what you've come to look for and will like to chat than writing your autobiography (afterall you'll eventually meet and talk for real for anything to happen)

    Infact, I'll say go swinging, clubing or any other arena where sexual interest is bluntly declared. Get used to that and then progress to more serious online relationship but without pressure on you.

    Also, I'm not prepared to pay arm and leg to get online or treat any woman. If I find the one for me, I'll splash (of course that person won't be interested in splashes but me).
    Humour, patience, good and passive nature will win you the girls and not the vibes you put out to be.

    If all fails wank and rechannell your energuy to good course!. Girls do jerk off very often...so there you go.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I LOVE this subject! I've been having some great results with POF for a while now. It's very important that you write profiles that stand out and get attention!

    Obviously! Right?

    Really, the secret to success on POF involves following a simple template. Here's the one I use. Just promise me you won't copy it word for word as we don't want tons of dudes flooding POF with the same profile.

    Now, without further ado, here is my Dating Profile Template:

    Subject: (Always use a humorous subject line. I typically make fun of other guys as it's easy to do because women see all kinds of lame profiles. Make sure it GETS HER ATTENTION!!

    Here's an example:

    "What are you doing spending Sunday cruising POF for dudes? You must be REALLY BORED! "

    (See how that works?? It stands out and it's really clever!)

    Body: (In the Body of your profile, you need to first expand on your humorous subject line. Then, you need to really convey your confidence by stating who you are, what you're looking for and NOT making any apologies for either. Finally, you want to end with more humor. Get out on a HIGH note.)

    Here's an example:

    "Well, good thing I popped in to add some excitement to your day! Anyway... (just add more humor in this spot.)

    (Now, I go on and convey some of my confidence!)

    "I don't fit in with the typical POF crowd and that's a good thing. I'm a SWM, intelligent, well educated, successful, attractive, athletic, and quite a smart ass with a keen sense of sarcastic humor. No, you haven't figured that out by now, right?" (Just continue here and tweak it to show more of your strong side. Who are you? What makes you a dominant kind of guy?)

    (Now I go on to state who I'm looking for.)

    "So, who am I looking for? A girl who just read the above and agrees with me whole-heartedly. Personality is very important! A FUN personality and a great sense of humor go a long way with me."

    (Tweak this part and make it more about YOU! Who are YOU looking for and what do you VALUE in a woman? Be specific! It shows confidence!)

    (Now we end on a HIGH note by throwing in some more clever humor...)

    "However, if you want a needy guy who is desperate to get you in the sack then hit the back button. You have plenty of other choices here.

    Talk to you soon and have a fabulous Sunday!"

    So, there it is! I’m telling you that profile template is what put me over the top! It’s got all the powerful traits I need to convey in one. It’s confident, funny, witty and gets her attention. You won’t believe some of the responses I was getting. Women kept responding telling me how funny I am.

    Anyway, if you want to see more, just click my username and head over to my website.

    Good Luck out there!

    Christophe

    Internet Dating Tips For Men

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous5:03 AM

    It's all to much of a online game for me. I am having better luck in real offline life.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Can I just add that a man not being afraid to show his feminine side, will do A LOT better than a man who is presenting a more masculine version of himself. A high number of women don't enjoy the reversal of the predator/prey paradigm that online dating bring; and as such will be intimidated by an overly macho man whom they would have to meet alone.

    Many proponents of attraction theory and so called 'pick-up artists' also advocate showing a more feminine side of yourself in order to attract more women.

    Thanks Lisa

    (Online dating profile writer at www.penmyprofile.com

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous9:38 AM

    Lisa forgot to add that females do play fake in every aspect, including orgasm and will want their men to be of some definitive proportion etc. This is primarily why vain men attract women we consider intelligent and beautiful. The female paradigm is real and spills over to everyday situations.

    Just an observation

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous10:41 PM

    All those example profiles listed above just use boring ol' adjectives. I'm honest, caring, intelligent, generous, blah blah blah.
    That's horrible writing to me. It's like writing a story using nothing but adjectives like "Steve was scared", "The night was dark", or "Annie felt angry".
    If it's a guy's profile, it's more or less just a guy feigning sincerity in a lazy way to get messages, and apparently it works.
    I know this is unbiased research, but I want to bash my head on a rock.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous1:41 PM

    This is an amazing article... It's hilarious how men kind of make profiles that are tailored for men. But those profiles highlight what women want to see.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous3:04 PM

    I haven't done lots of research but enjoyed reading your many varied views! I am on my second account on pof as I deleted my other one due to meeting the best girl I have ever met in my life! I didn't use no tactics or have a game plan I just spoke to her likes he was a human! Women are not chess boards they are humans just like us men! I was nothing but myself with her and it worked! We met up after about 2 weeks of chatting and were together for around 2 months after this! Unfortunately she was a student and now lives nowhere near me and I don't do long distant relationships! I still speak with her and we are good friends and if I'm honest still think we will end up together just in a few years perhaps! And all thanks to pof! She was neither high maintenance or ego driven she was a person and a person I'm glad I met!

    ReplyDelete

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