I just found this video on YouTube of a guy ranting about his frustrations with the PlentyofFish dating site. He basically bitches and moans about the things that women do, which is not fair for him. I'll let you watch the video first and then I'll give my commentary and analysis afterward:
Did you watch it? Notice how this guys is completely frustrated by his attempts at online dating? I'm not surprised, he is a typical guy on the site and is going about it all wrong. He gripes about three things in the video and I'd like to address all of them and break it down.
Girls Not Revealing Their Correct 'Body Type'
This is to be expected on any dating site not just on Plenty of Fish. He basically accuses larger obese women of putting themselves in the wrong categories. This does happen quite often and not just with women. Men fudge their statistics too, particularly the height category. Essentially everyone nudges their personal traits to be more favorable, after all, they are trying to attract mates as best they can.
So, you can't stop women from fudging their profiles, but you can screen them easily if you know what to look for. For example, if she only has head shots in all of her pictures or if she put's "I'd rather not say" in the body type category, then there's a good chance that she is larger and you just move on (assuming you're not attracted to larger women of course).
Who's Who?
His second gripe is regarding girls who put up pictures of themselves with another girl or a bunch of other girls. I somewhat agree with him here. It is hard to tell who is the owner of the profile if the only pictures they show are group shots. However, there is a rule on the Plenty of Fish dating site that says your main picture should be a head shot of just you. So, assuming that rule is enforced then you should be able to tell the face behind the profile.
Helloooooo
The main reason I wanted to show this video is because this guy's last gripe is EXACTLY what I talked about in my last post about subject lines. He complains that a girl chewed him out because all he did was send her a message saying, "Hello."
From the experiment I ran in the last post, we saw that in the female profile, 39 out of 60 emails had subject lines that simply read: hello, hi or hey. With that many guys sending you crappy messages that just say 'hello', it's not hard for me to imagine a girl flipping out on a random dude every now and then. It's kind of like listening to kids in the back of the car, constantly asking, "are we there yet?" Eventually, one of the parents will snap and tell those little ankle bitters to shut the f#@k up.
Yeah..I never really know what to do with those "hey" messages; there's too many to sift through, and those ones are far too easy to toss aside...I just ignore them
ReplyDeleteGuys are REALLY bad when it comes to the height issue. I'm 5'7" and messaged with a guy for a few weeks who claimed he was 6' (on POF too). On our date I wore a pair of 4" heels and towered over him. When I switched to flip-flops, we were the same height. It happens all the time too and I don't get it. Do they really think we won't notice a difference of 3-4+ inches in person?
ReplyDeleteRomi,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that the men on these sites understand the volume of the messages being sent to women. Sure, a simple "Hello" or "Hi" might work when you are out in public, walking down the street, but if 60 guys all shouting "Hey" at the same time isn't increasing any of their odds. Clearly, being unique is the key, and that's what the guy above doesn't realize.
Jenn,
I understand why guys would lie about their height, I'm 5'5 after all, so I know a thing or two about the frustrations that it entails. However, I also understand that the whole point of online dating is to get a date in real life and eventually some sort of relationship. Thus, if the first real life contact begins with either party noticing blatant lies then all credibility of that person is shot. The whole experience just ends becoming a waste of time.
Yea it sucks when you have physical set backs such as height or weight but you have to work with what you have because lying isn't getting anyone anywhere.
Jenn, RE: height issue.
ReplyDeleteHeight and other metrics used heavily in online dating are generally not relevant to attraction for the most part, UNLESS of course the difference is quite significant.
The height issue is pretty nuts on online dating sites. For instance, I'm a 5' 10" 230 lb guy, not overweight, not bulky, but big of course. In real life women up to 6' tall approach me generally without concern for height. Still on POF simply increasing my height to 6' easily doubles the email I receive. Tried it as a test.
I'm not complaining about the height thing, I actually understand why it is an issue from a psychological perspective. Shoulder waist ratio, and the amount of light you block/reflect [greater stimulation of senses]
You'll also see people lying about age a little as well. For instance a 45 yr old guy is generally eliminating from most 35-42 yr old women on dating sites, by age restriction but that generally isn't the case in real life.
People have a choice, of either fudging the numbers a little bit, or simply not using these sites ... because the metrics employed don't reflect real life for these people.
For instance there are several women on POF in the 40 - 45 age range that lie about age by 3-5 yrs. They do this because in real life they are healthy, fit, attractive enough to attract guys in the lower age range. Also they believe men their age couldn't possibly be as great as they are because science/health/nutrition/etc. only works for the female of the species. (j/k)
Metrics on dating sites are assumed by the reader to follow the standard expectations, if you're a person that is fairing better than standard (above average) you're either struck to finding someone else in your age range that's above average as well or simply lie a little to increase your odds.
Women are generally more moved by the personality, character, drive, status,etc. of man than looks/height. The hope of those "fudging" is that they can overcome it once they meet you ... it does work often enough ... to be worth the effort.
lol that video is hilarious and I totally agree
ReplyDeleteIt's just a sad thing we live in such a judgemental world. In the instance of a guy,, women should want to know the inner self and not be so detrimental to the outer. If the guy has a good heart and the best values, morals and does the best to take care of himself,, lighten up this could be the best guy in the world for you. Remember a saying from many years ago probably no longer applicable today,,"You can't judge a book by it's cover". Just wait til the day it's the guys turn to turn down all the women,, then that will be fun. lol All in good humor. Good Medicine
ReplyDelete